Total Pageviews

Monday, June 10, 2013


BDR goes all girly and stuff with new brand identity--"Best Choice Rehabilitation"

With a logo whose graphic elements looks suspiciously like lady parts, Per Wickstrom is about to barnstorm Marne, Michigan with a "new residential treatment facility".

That's corporate-speak BS for a hell hole that sucks money from every bodily orifice, including a few you didn't know existed.


According to the BCR website, Marne is an unincorporated community in Wright Township in Ottawa County, Michigan. You can find Marne off exit 23 on Interstate 96. It is just northwest of Grand Rapids. Marne was originally named Berlin due to the many German settlers. This name was changed to Marne in 1919.


Michael Myles and his crew at AIM have been busy as beavers creating florid infographics for BCR that remind Miss Fortune of that great movie, "Reefer Madness". Here's the link to the new site, registered on January 21, 2013 by Per Wickstrom's bumbling nephew, Stephen Anderson (hey, every family has a Fredo).

Marijuana: The Gateway Drug

 "Reefer Madness", The Gateway to "Fritz the Cat"

Myles and his brew crew at AIM, who've created quite a niche for themselves designing and building "trojan horse" websites for many other Narconon treatment facilities, famously created the memorable soft, gauzy look for Best Drug Rehabilitation.

From AIM's portfolio comes this case study excerpt:

Existing site overhaul for Best Drug Rehabilitation. The project description was simple: recreate every piece of content and all design work to improve organic search traffic and conversion rates. 

Market Analysis We took a close look at who this website was meant to attract, and what their interests and personalities were. Since we already have years of experience in the addiction treatment vertical we were able to quickly segment their target market into just a few personas.

The Plan
Planning out hundreds of pages of content is a tall order. We followed Google’s Webmaster Guidelines every step of the way, and quickly had a complete editorial plan designed and ready for action. A team of writers worked long hours, for a few weeks, to get the 100,000+ words of content written, and off to the optimization, beautification, and publishing team.

Forward Thinking
We knew that we would be able to grow their organic traffic somewhat just by replacing old mediocre content with new excellent content, but the client needed much more than just a small increase. Looking forward to substantial organic traffic increases we created a plan for writing great content, repurposing it as much as possible, and promoting it. This all with the hope that visitors would love the content and share it with their social networks.

The Results
It worked. People saw the client’s new, excellent, content, and shared it. A lot. They posted URLs to infographics to their Pinterest accounts, they shared celebrity blog posts with their Facebook friends. Social signals increase, as did linking root domains. Organic traffic more than doubled in just a few short months, and the new website design increased conversion rates by an incredible 25%.

Translation: Gee, golly, gosh! We managed to put even more filthy lucre in Per Wickstrom's sweaty pockets!  

Here's some more bullshit from Best Choice Rehabilitation, courtesy of the wordsmiths at AIM:

Those battling a daily fight with addiction can find the hope for a brighter future at our facility, Best Choice Rehabilitation in Marne, Michigan. Located in this small town of only 4,500 residents, our facility offers a peaceful retreat for clients to help them feel safe and nurtured during their entire treatment process. Our addiction treatment facility is in a residential setting which means that the client will stay in our homelike environment while receiving treatment. Leaving behind the stress of daily life helps our clients relax and focus their attention toward healing and learning. Our location, surrounded by historical sites and a small-town ambiance, is sure to have a positive effect on the overall success of each our clients.

We also provide a highly skilled and caring staff of professionals from a wide variety of modalities to ensure that each client gets the exact level of attention and support they require. Many of our well-trained, compassionate staff members are recovered addicts themselves. They have been educated to help others going through these struggles. They have experienced all of the feelings and fears each of our clients has, and are empathetic and an excellent support system. Their goal is that each client has the same success that they have had.

Some Program Options at Our Facility

We strive to provide a well-rounded program that meets the needs and preferences of each individual. Through many years of treating addicts, we have gained extensive knowledge about the complexities of addiction and about what works to resolve each contributing aspect involved such as:
  • Low self-esteem
  • Family history of addiction
  • Behavior problems
  • Chronic physical health issues
  • Traumatic events experienced earlier
  • A combination of disorders
In order to make sure each of these factors is addressed, our programs offer:
  • Group Counseling
  • Individual Counseling
  • Exercise
  • Sauna
  • Acupuncture
  • Self-help Programs
  • Faith-based Approaches to Therapy
  • Holistic Treatment
  • Native American Treatment
  • Aftercare
These methodologies are incorporated to ensure that the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects are treated concurrently to avoid any chance of relapse. Once the client is ready to step back into the real world, our aftercare program provides much needed guidance and support during this period of transition. Best Choice Rehabilitation offers continued counseling and therapy after the client has graduated from our facility. We realize that just because one has been through the treatment programs, it does not mean that they will never have urges or temptations again. We supply a safety net for our clients. If they feel they are about to relapse, we are here to help them through this rough patch and get back on the right track.

If the client does not feel confident returning to their home environment where drugs or alcohol are so easily attainable, we make arrangements for a sober living, also known as halfway, house. Here they live with other recovering addicts while remaining under the supervision of a counselor. They can go about their daily activities and still be monitored in a drug-free and alcohol-free environment. This is another step towards returning to a productive, responsible individual in society.

Best Choice Rehab Facility Client Room
Client room, or just a picture from the latest West Elm catalog?

In the past, many people treated addicts as if they were possessed by demons. They were isolated in a cold, clinical, impersonal environment and left to suffer through withdrawals on their own. This treatment rarely worked to provide lasting recovery. Today, addiction specialists have learned that addiction is comprised of more than just the physical dependency, and are aware that detox alone is not a cure. Before lasting recovery can be achieved, the individual must learn new behavior patterns and attitudes. They must regain lost confidence and find more effective coping mechanisms, and acquire new skills that can be used to claim their place as a contributing member of society. Our treatment programs are designed to help clients acquire each of these skills and feel motivated and empowered to embark on an addiction-free lifestyle.
Learning about the options available is the first step in seeking addiction treatment. More information about Best Choice Rehabilitation, Marne, Michigan can be obtained by contacting one of our highly skilled professionals day or night. If you are looking for an alcohol or drug treatment facility for you or a loved one, don’t wait until it is too late. 

And guess what? Even though the place hasn't opened yet, the site is already boasting about its "success stories" with testimonials like David's!

"Ups and downs really helped me understand how the life I was previously living was in an anti-social nature. It also help me tell the difference between good and bad friends. Also with the new understanding I found out just because I have a few anti-social traits that doesn’t make me anti-social. So far this book has been the most helpful in my life."
 David H., 2/13/13

Ups and downs? Why, isn't that Book 5 in the Narconon Life Course? Yes, yes it is! (Oh, I'm such an SP!) Gee, Per Wickstrom says BDR and BCR and AFR are NOT Narconon! Could he be lying?
For all of you readers who'd like to apply to be an ass-kicking security guard or a staggering counselor, you'll just have to wait. Even Miss Fortune doesn't know where to send a resume.

But the good news? There are 19 homeless shelters within a 25 mile radius of Marne who may soon be experiencing an influx of new, out-of-state visitors.


  1. Thanks so much for for digging all this up and putting your wonderful touch to expose the issues with these people. I wrote about your article and link to it here.

    Perhaps between the two of us we will have helped get the "Best Choice Rehabilitation" SEO keywords directed by Google search to the facts.. not the deceptive advertising they provide.
    Keep up the good work, Miss Fortune.

  2. In 2007, drug rehab Foundation expanded to include a prison program where Cenikor gained more than five years of experience. It formed an alliance with Odyssey House Texas in 2010 to provide short-term residential treatment for adolescents. In 2011, Lake Charles, LA, welcomed new leadership in a medical-detoxification and short-term residential facility.