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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

MICHIGAN GOVERNOR RICK SNYDER ANNOUNCES SWEEPING K-12 PUBLIC EDUCATION REFORMS: Executive Order Includes Creation Of New "Kindergarten Casino" School Funding Method; Appoints Attorney Oscar Goodman To Head Program

Gov. Rick Snyder makes appointment to new Department of Education school funding effort

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

LANSING, Mich. – 

Michigan Governor Rick Snyder, whom critics charge is trying to destroy public education as we know it, today announced sweeping changes to the state’s public school financing methods during an early morning news conference.

Snyder, who signed an Executive Order just prior to this morning's press event, called for extensive changes in Michigan’s education system. Acknowledging that his order was just the “latest in a years-long barrage of ideologically-driven actions designed to weaken and defund locally-controlled public education”, Snyder announced he was handing millions of taxpayer dollars over to for-profit entities operating under a completely different set of rules.

The new effort is expected to create a parallel, for-profit education system, right alongside the Michigan public school system, unanswerable to anyone, except for the Governor’s new Education Department appointee, Nevada attorney Oscar Goodman.

Without accountability to the State Board of Education or the State Superintendent of Schools, the new program, dubbed “Kindergarten Casino—The House Always Wins”, would gradually take over public school facilities (constructed with taxpayer funds) for pennies on the dollar.

Without having to force legislation through the Republican-controlled House and Senate, Snyder’s method is expected to quickly create a system of school finance that is more cost-efficient, competitive and innovative.

Betsy Van den Besten-De Jonge, a 48-year-old Grand Rapids venture capitalist attending the announcement, said money should go to less traditional options rather than public schools. Arguing the education of Michigan’s children is better left to the corporate accountants at “Schools, Inc.” than it is with the teachers in classrooms, Van den Besten-De Jonge says “schools must be reshaped so that all students learn at high levels and are fully prepared to enter the work force—preferably at an entry level.”

Martha Luther-King, another Grand Rapids area resident, expressed a similar sentiment. “So here’s how this trick apparently works, for those of you in other states who would like to attempt something similar. You defund education to the point of collapse, and, pointing to its inevitable failure, you make the case that the only option left available is to essentially hand the whole thing over to corporate America. Then, you announce it at 6:30 in the morning, during Spring break, knowing that no one will take notice. Evil and brilliant, right?”

New Snyder appointee Oscar Goodman, holding a mammoth martini glass (half full), refused to comment about his new job.

Goodman, a mob attorney and former mayor of Las Vegas, instead insisted on talking about his tell-all memoir, “Being Oscar: From Mob Lawyer to Mayor of Las Vegas -- Only in America”.  “The book is a love story,” Goodman said, before leaving the room with the fury of those Wizard of Oz monkeys lighting out the window at the behest of the Wicked Witch of the West.  “It’s a love story of my family and my wife and the law, being a very jealous mistress. It’s also a love story of the city.” 

    Governor Rick Snyder
    P.O. Box 30013
    Lansing, Michigan 48909
    Phone: (517) 373-3400
    Email: click here

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