}

Friday, December 6, 2013

MR. WICKSTROM EXPLAINS IT ALL...ABOUT VICODIN!

Per "we just opened up in South Bend" Wickstrom appears to be grasping at straws with his recent PR Web paid content media blast promoting A Forever Recovery's latest addition to addiction: a vicodin blog.

And while some pesky WordPress glitches have kept the blog offline for most of this afternoon, your girl Miss Fortune grabbed another breathtaking jewel in the crazy crown--an Active Internet Marketing infographic.

Although they didn't call it "weed from the devil's garden" like the one-sheet for "Reefer Madness", the AIM crew pulled out all the stops...and then kept pulling.


The "faux" press release explains that "A Forever Recovery’s Vicodin Information Center features blog posts, infographics, photos, lists of street and brand names, and other essential Vicodin-related content that has been specifically created to be easy-to-understand and free of confusing medical jargon."

Yeah, you don't need that confusing medical jargon--like "contraindicated" or "not medically proven" or "it could kill you"!

Cultured pearls of wisdom dripped from Per "we just opened up in South Bend" Wickstrom's lips and plopped right in the middle of the fake release:

“Vicodin related abuse and addiction is growing rapidly across the country, particularly among young people who are getting initially hooked through illicit recreational. By providing clear, objective and accessible Vicodin-related information, our goal is to spread awareness and eliminate some extremely dangerous myths out there – such as that Vicodin isn’t addictive, or that because it’s a prescription drug that it’s somehow safer than heroin or other so-called street drugs. We need to win the war on drugs through education – not just treatment -- and this is one of the ways we’re doing that.”

Wow, somewhere in the cosmos Gandhi and Jimi Hendrix are together, dancing the Salty Dog Rag!

The faux press release wraps up with a standard paragraph describing A Forever Recovery:

A Forever Recovery program is an open-ended drug and alcohol treatment program that gets clients off to a great start and gives them a solid foundation in recovery they can believe in. Not every treatment methodology works for every client. Some people are very receptive to 12-step principles, whereas others are more comfortable with faith-based treatment. Cognitive approaches have excellent success, whereas others thrive within a more holistic approach. A Forever Recovery allows clients to choose from a wide range of recovery methodologies, coupled with Moral Recognition Therapy (MRT), to achieve success rates unmatched in the addiction treatment industry. The bottom line is that there is no single therapeutic approach to recovery that works for everyone… until now. 

The copywriter in me loves that titty-twisting last line:

The bottom line is that there is no single therapeutic approach to recovery that works for everyone… until now. 

OK, so are they saying there's no single approach that works while dangling the participle that suggests that...there is?

Oh, I'll bet Steven King's scared of you, Per!

And, by the way, isn't it "Moral Reconation Therapy" you're pedaling in that slovenly pile of bricks in Battle Creek?

Miss Fortune hears you wouldn't "recognize" anything moral if it bit you...I'll just let my readers decide what was chomped.

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