Wednesday, December 4, 2013

DRIVING THE BUS WITH MR. WICKSTROM: Per "We Just Opened Up In South Bend" Wickstrom Talks with Former Detroit Lion Rob Rubick About Sex Addiction and Driving A Bus...And That's NOT A Euphemism (Unless There's A Stick Shift-Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge!)

Driving The Bus: Hand-In-Hand?

In case you missed it yesterday, Best Drug Rehabilitation CEO Per "we just opened up in South Bend" Wickstrom (known in the Fortune household as "the gift that just keeps on giving") posted another mumblecore masterpiece on BDR's blog.

Shot in a location that would make a San Fernando Valley pornographer blush, Wickstrom demonstrates his patented techniquecontroversial, hilarious and utterly unconvincing. Looking like a cross between "The Breakfast Club" and "Bride of Frankenstein", the video is rife with bone-headed bonhomie.

Oh, and some weird sexual subtext, too. (I know...sometimes a stick shift is just a stick shift.)

Here are the words, in case you'd like to sing along:

Per: Once again here with Rob Rubick. Again we’re together.

Rob: And looking dapper too, by the way. (laughing)

Per: Hey, look at this. Can you believe it? And we didn’t do this on purpose either. (laughing) We talked about kids and being absent.

Rob: Right.

Per: And then you brought up the sexual end of it, you know. And you teach that.

Rob: Well, when we talk about substance abuse, Per, you talk about addictions; it all comes down to decision-making, original decision-making. Now once you get an addiction, the decision-making is kinda’ taken out of the equation.

Per: Yeah, cause it’s kinda’ not there.

Rob: That’s why they call it an addiction. But initially, it’s all about risk and reward. And when kids start using, whatever type their preferred substance of choice is, it leads to poor decision-making. And I just want parents to be aware that when your child has an addiction, if it’s a substance abuse addiction, they go hand-in-hand with sexual diseases, unwanted pregnancies, just terrible things that just change a child’s life. They don’t have the opportunity, I always tell my students, “you’re driving the bus. You become sexually active, you start using some kind of substance, you’re no longer driving the bus. Someone else is in charge.”

Per: That’s right, because who you’re with, you don’t know.

Rob: You’re with people who aren’t making good decisions. I’m a big fan of thinking before you act.

Per: We do, at Best Drug Rehabilitation, deal with sexual addiction. In my business, it kind of runs parallel. It’s not hand-in-hand. You don’t have to drink to be, you know, an internet porn addict, but it’s very similar.

Rob: It leads to each other.

Per: Either way, right.

Rob: If you’re a sex addict, etc., it can lead to substance abuse and vice-versa, so it all comes down to treating the addictions.

Per: I liked your decisions. It all comes to being abstinent.

Rob: Right, you have to abstain initially, and once you make that poor decision, you lose control. You lose, you’re not driving, you’re not controlling your life any more.

Per: You’re not driving the bus.

Rob: You’re not driving the bus. Good stuff, man.

Per: Good stuff again. Rob Rubick, thank you again for coming down.

Rob: Alright, enjoy.

COMING TOMORROW: ADDICTION 101: Per "we just opened up in South Bend" Wickstrom and the Detroit Lions

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