There's another mystery, one that might even stump NBC's Keith Morrison: does a perplexing video Robert Buckhannon posted over two years ago prove he and Kelly DeMoss were married in July 2012 at the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island?
The clip, amateur cinematography clearly influenced by watching too many East German hostage videos, shows Buckhannon's son (dressed in what looks like an official Grand Hotel cater-waiter blazer) rehearsing this wedding toast:
Today on Mackinac Island there's magic in the air and memories in the making.
Somewhere in time, these two fell in love and today we celebrate the love that they have found, the lives they have lived and how they have touched each and every one of us in a profound way.
Looking back on how Dad met Kelly, their story is as charming as they are.
I remember the first time I saw these two together: Dad had that spring in his step I hadn't seen in years and Kelly--Kelly treated me as one of her own from day one.
Never have I met a more kind, more affectionate woman in my life and seen a couple so happy.
Although there was a little gap between then and the high school reunion a few years ago, I can see sparks fly when they are in each other's arms.
The two are head-over-heels for each other and I know that will never change.
These high school sweethearts have come a long way from big hair and vinyl records.
I'm not gonna lie--they did look ridiculous with the leather pants and mustache.
But would anybody expect anything else from the starting linebacker and teen queen cheerleader?
I'm sure my kids will say the same thing about me some day. I just hope that I can give them an upbringing comparable to the one they have given me.
It's been an experience I wouldn't change for the world. They have taught me by example, and made me realize what is truly important in life: friends, family and living life to the fullest.
To take the good with the bad and persevere until the day is done.
Through thick and thin, they have been best friends, lovers and the best set of parents a kid could ask for.
I don't know where I would be or who I would be without their guidance and love.
To Rob and Kelly!
Well, that touching toast didn't touch on this third rail in Buckhannon's complicated marital history: if he truly married DeMoss, he may have done so while still married to Marlena Michaels!
VIVA LAS VEGAS
Clark County, Nevada records show Buckhannon and Michaels took out a marriage license on May 15, 2009 and filed an "affidavit of marriage" shortly after 7:30am the next morning.
About three months after Buckhannon married Michaels, he returned to Michigan briefly for his 30th high school class reunion where he reconnected with "teen queen" and classmate Kelly DeMoss.
After an extensive search of Clark County records, I was unable to locate any evidence of a Buckhannon/Michaels divorce.
While it's possible the two divorced in another Nevada county, Buckhannon and Michaels competed together this past May in San Antonio at a "Gladiator Rock'N Run" event.
ON DECK SPORTS BAR AND GRILL DEMOLISHED; BATTLE CREEK PAYS THE BILL
The Battle Creek Enquirer reported recently that city awarded a contract to Markos Excavating of East Leroy, paying $35,900 to demolish the crumbling building.
The bar was declared an unsafe building by the city, but remained standing while investigators from the Battle Creek Fire Department, Battle Creek Police Department and the Federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives investigated the fire that caused at least $1 million in damage.
Interim City Manager Susan Bedsole told the Enquirer that the city took control of demolition because the building posed a danger and it appeared "there was no insurance coverage for the cost."
BILLS, BILLS, BILLS...AND MORE BILLS!
The On Deck Sports Bar opened briefly in April 2013, closing about about six weeks later.
Kelly DeMoss and Per Wickstrom's pink-palmed nephew Stephen Anderson reportedly invested several hundred thousand dollars into remodeling the former Sports Page. (I suspect the bulk of that amount came from Anderson.)
Anderson originally sued Buckhannon on May 17, 2013 in Calhoun County's 37th District Court. Late last year, the two reached a confidential, out-of-court settlement.
And Anderson, Buckhannon's not-so-silent partner, is still waiting for his money.
The bar closed amid allegations from Anderson that the project was over budget and that employees and vendors were not being paid by DeMoss and Buckhannon, who were operating the business.
Calhoun County court records reveal that Anderson again filed against Buckhannon on March 27, 2014 and on September 4 was granted a partial summary judgment.
Good luck getting that, and while you're waiting, maybe you can explain why a key member of the Narconon-based Wickstrom drug rehab cartel wants to own a bar.