Michigan native Robert "the crooked chiropractor" Buckhannon, arrested on October 1 by the FBI in Las Vegas and currently under federal indictment for conspiracy and fraud charges relating to a $34 million dollar hedge fund swindle, has apparently launched a new website, www.robertbuckhannon.com.
It's either the most elaborate hoax I've ever seen...or the best Baby Jesus' birthday present ever.
I discovered the site early Christmas Day, shortly after my morning martini wore off.
Rubbing my eyes, I was shocked to learn that although Buckhannon's Nevada chiropractor license expired nearly four years ago (December 31, 2010), he's now billed as the “premiere chiropractor for Las Vegas and Battle Creek.”
(Has he already ditched the ankle monitor?)
The site lists contact information, if you'd like to book an appointment with Dr. Rob, although the “office address” is a mail drop and the phone is answered by a female robot:
Address: 848 N. Rainbow Blvd. #4215 Las Vegas, NV 89107
Phone: (702) 545-6883
And, yes, eagle-eyed readers may recognize Kelly Demoss, pictured above in a screen grab from the site with her one-time boyfriend/business partner/whatever. The photo of the duo appears to have been taken at their torched bar, Battle Creek's On Deck Sports Bar & Grill, which was destroyed in a suspicious fire nearly one year ago.
The blaze, which was discovered during the early morning hours of December 30, 2013, is still under investigation by the Battle Creek Police Department.
In addition to content promoting Buckhannon's expertise as a chiropractor, the site includes an attempt to rehabilitate his image. The crown jewel of the effort is the most bizarre press release I've read since the 2012 Romney campaign.
The headline “Robert Buckhannon Responds About SEC” is followed by this subhead: “Dr. Robert Buckhannon and the Robert Buckhannon Foundation respond to a recent smear campaign by a disgruntled former girlfriend of a former business partner. Robert Buckhannon discusses his response to the SEC filing and his cooperation with the process.”
Disgruntled girlfriend? Are you sure it wasn't a gruntled girlfriend?
And a thorough search of trusted nonprofit resources (including the IRS and GuideStar.org databases) failed to locate any “foundation” legally formed by Buckhannon.
The rambling nonsense, replete with preposterous claims, wraps up with this stunning boast: “The Robert Buckhannon Foundation has made strides in clearing his name and highlighting his positive community outreach programs. Dr. Rob has been publicizing his previously undisclosed works of charity and good will that he's engaged in for the last three decades. This has put him in touch with such icons as the Pope and Mother Theresa (sic).”
Since Mother Teresa died on September 5, 1997 and neither Pope Benedict nor Pope Francis have returned my calls, it's impossible to confirm the statement.
However, I did reach out to Brandon Donnelly at Stracos Media in Scottsdale, Arizona, for a comment.
Donnelly's name appeared in the WHOIS report for robertbuckhannon.com as the site's administrator.
In an email, Donnelly told me “I keep my clients information confidential, but what I can tell you is that the owner of this domain isn't Robert Buckhannon.”
Splitting hairs, I guess, since Donnelly is listed as the site's registrant and legally considered its “owner”.
THERE'S A YOUTUBE CHANNEL, TOO!
In addition to the site and its reputation management/public relations effort, there's a brand new video on Dr. Robert Buckhannon's YouTube channel.
The video runs 30 seconds, and it's worth watching even though comments are disabled (d'oh!).
Come on--even if your back doesn't hurt, don't you want to know how to make pain a “think” of the past?